He's quite the looker, if I do say so myself.
To say the delivery was rough would be an understatement. I had no idea that the little man inside of me would arrive into the world at a whopping 9 lbs. and 21 inches. I didn't realize that a slight turn of his head would mean delivery via forceps, after hours of pushing, groaning and waiting.
I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.
Cuddling him. Dressing him up. Learning how to help him sleep or calm down. These were some of the practical lessons of the first 11 days. Our family came in to help for a long weekend. They gave us the great gift of cooking and cleaning while I recovered from the delivery.
Tears. (Mine.) My husband drove my parents to the airport. Alone in the house with Elliot, I let out the loudest cry. Flipped on some thought-provoking music. When Matt walked back in the house, my face was red and wet.
I didn't have to say a word. He knew. We were alone with this baby, and our lives were forever changed.
As a friend said, "Being Elliot's mom is the only job that only you can do." Funny that this is the job I feel least qualified to do. And yet, he is strong and plump and healthy. He even seems to like us. :)
Prayer. Support from family and friends. With help, the weight of being a new parent is beginning to lift. Late-night feedings are becoming doable. I managed a trip to Target, and I even borrowed an hour in front of my sewing machine.
In the same way that the 37-hour labor and delivery required me to rise above my worst fears and press forward, I've been able to watch my husband become an incredible father. Changing and swaddling Elliot like a pro. Bringing me snacks and drinks in the middle of the night. Laughing and crying with me. There is no one else I would rather have by my side in this.
As I type, the baby is sleeping and I'm gifted with a moment of peace to reflect on becoming a mom.
I still don't know very much about raising Elliot. But if his first week of life is any indication, I'll be stretched to my limits. Instead of becoming a mom all at once, maybe it will happen one step at a time. And I'll realize I was made for this job.