Saturday, January 18, 2014

On Becoming a Mom

On Tuesday, January 7th, I became a mom.

Meet Elliot.


He's quite the looker, if I do say so myself.

To say the delivery was rough would be an understatement. I had no idea that the little man inside of me would arrive into the world at a whopping 9 lbs. and 21 inches. I didn't realize that a slight turn of his head would mean delivery via forceps, after hours of pushing, groaning and waiting.

I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.

 

Cuddling him. Dressing him up. Learning how to help him sleep or calm down. These were some of the practical lessons of the first 11 days. Our family came in to help for a long weekend. They gave us the great gift of cooking and cleaning while I recovered from the delivery.

Tears. (Mine.) My husband drove my parents to the airport. Alone in the house with Elliot, I let out the loudest cry. Flipped on some thought-provoking music. When Matt walked back in the house, my face was red and wet.

I didn't have to say a word. He knew. We were alone with this baby, and our lives were forever changed.

As a friend said, "Being Elliot's mom is the only job that only you can do." Funny that this is the job I feel least qualified to do. And yet, he is strong and plump and healthy. He even seems to like us. :)



Prayer. Support from family and friends. With help, the weight of being a new parent is beginning to lift. Late-night feedings are becoming doable. I managed a trip to Target, and I even borrowed an hour in front of my sewing machine.

In the same way that the 37-hour labor and delivery required me to rise above my worst fears and press forward, I've been able to watch my husband become an incredible father. Changing and swaddling Elliot like a pro. Bringing me snacks and drinks in the middle of the night. Laughing and crying with me. There is no one else I would rather have by my side in this.


As I type, the baby is sleeping and I'm gifted with a moment of peace to reflect on becoming a mom.

I still don't know very much about raising Elliot. But if his first week of life is any indication, I'll be stretched to my limits. Instead of becoming a mom all at once, maybe it will happen one step at a time. And I'll realize I was made for this job.





38 comments:

  1. Congratulations MOM!! Your friend gave you the best advice and you will be surprised just how well that 'mom' title fits. And what a big boy!! Bless you

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  2. Congratulations! You can do it. He's darling.

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  3. He's beautiful, congratulations mom!

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  4. Congratulations! I think some people have an easier time than others, that said at times I thought that it would never get easier or that I wouldn't make it, but I did and you will to. All the hardships are well worth it when they first smile at you and later tell you they love you! One of my favorite moments was when my then two year old daughter hugged me then looked at me and told me I was her best friend....amazing. So, hang in there you can do it and you will eventually get some sleep! It is also great that your husband is so supportive and awesome. Sorry for such a long comment, but I feel like I know what you mean. Take care.

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  5. Congratulations to you and your family! Motherhood is tough but there are some great rewards. That first real smile that isn't gas at 6 weeks is a thrill! Its almost as if the baby is saying, "you're doing a great job mom!" Its so reassuring and makes it all worth it. Lots of love and luck now and in your journey.

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  6. Beautifully written, Lindsay! Elliot is one lucky boy to have such amazing parents!

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  7. You will grow into your new job (which is the best job in the world btw) each and every day. At some point, you will surprise yourself when you realize just how much you love him and how ingrained being his Mom is. Congratulations and enjoy every minute of your new career.

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  8. you are very wise. He's beautiful! and yes, you do grow into the challenges that parenthood brings. You can do it!

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  9. Beautiful words and attitude. He is so precious, congratulations and enjoy.

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  10. There is nothing like having a child. I won't say it is always easy. But the rewards far out weigh the difficult times. You will be a wonderful mommy.
    I can totally relate to a birth with forceps! Been there! It is amazing the strength you gather during labor!
    Good luck to your and your husband and to little Elliot - a beautiful, beautiful baby!

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  11. Congratulations Lindsey and hubby.
    All you need to learn as a parent is breath slowly and count to 10...trust me it works, I am a mom of 4 :)

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  12. He is beautiful! Congratulations to you both - may he bring you and your family much joy.

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  13. Congratulations! He's adorable! You'll be great.

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  14. Congrats again! This is a pretty intense time for a new parent (so I hear) ;), but I love your friend's comment that being Elliot's mom is the only job that you can do. You're one of the most important people in that little guy's life (arguably the most), but you already have everything you need to do that job well. I hope you and your husband have fun getting to know him!

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  15. I had a forceps delivery too and the weird tears. Try to have some space for you. Enjoy the little cherub x

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  16. Take it one day at a time! He is very handsome!

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  17. Huge congrats Lindsay! He's adorable and has a good thick amount of hair! Nice :-)
    I wish you joy in the journey and lots of sleep in the coming months!

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  18. What a beautiful love poem you've written for Elliot! I trust you will be a loving and nurturing Mom.

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  19. Congratulations. He's a very lucky little boy to have such a mama.

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  20. Congrats! He is absolutely adorable!!!

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  21. Lovely post....motherhood can be rather overwhelming!! He's adorable!!

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  22. Congrats! He is so cute. I do understand what you are saying. Our daughter is now 10 months, crawls, cries, stands up... She learned it all, although we are still not thinking about us being supermum and superdad. You guys will make it, too. Love is all they need. Believe me, they got everything what it needs (means the good looks and some terrible screams, too) to get all the other stuff . ;-)

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  23. Congratulations Lindsay and Matt. Enjoy these moments. It goes really fast. Thanks for sharing.

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  24. Blessing and blessings to you all! Boys are absolutely the best!

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  25. Lindsay don't be too hard on yourself. Your body has gone through a huge event; your hormones are all over the place and at times the tears come for no reason at all. But...as the days pass things will fall into place and you and Matt will fall into a wonderful routine of loving this beautiful little guy and before you know it you won't remember what it was like without him. Yes your lives have changed and it only gets better from here on out! Congratulations you are now "Parents" and with that comes so many joys and wonderful days ahead.

    So take it easy and try to relax; its all going to be fine. Many blessings to you both (plus one.) :-))))

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  26. Congratulations, you are right, his is quite the looker, a beautiful healthy baby boy! I am so happy for you and your husband. Enjoy every moment, it goes all too quickly!

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  27. Oh, congratulations, Lindsay! Your post reminds me so much of my first days as a mom (rough delivery and all), and I'm here to tell you that it does get easier. Not in a straight line, maybe, since of course there are always ups and downs, but overall, and over time, it does. And one day you realize you'd do it all again in a heartbeat. He's beautiful! : )

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  28. Lindsay, it is quite an adjustment to become a mom. I was right there with you on a long labor and the exhaustion. Plus, what to do once you are home. A friend shared some words with me when she was here before P was born. You're a good mom no matter what you do. Do you best and what works for you and the baby. Best of health, snuggles, and memories to you and Matt.

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  29. Oh, Lindsay, your post brought back so many memories of bringing home my first daughter. It was so hard to become a mom -- harder than I ever dreamed it would be. Not only was I figuring out how be a Mommy but I was having to let go of life as I had known it up until then. The best advice I can give you is to make peace with the new you. You are not going to be the same...and really you wouldn't want to be. That little boy has changed everything, and he's going to bring you more joy than you can imagine. Life is going to be different, but it's also going to be good. I'm praying for you to have the strength and peace you'll need in these months ahead. :)

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  30. He is so beautiful and you are in store for the best time of your life! I love the wise words your friend spoke to you. She's right and baby Elliot will love and trust you - it's the best feeling!

    I hope you've been able to get some sleep - that's what I miss most during the newborn stage! Or, you can do what I did when Eva Mae was a newborn. If you know the baby will be up in 2 hours to feed, go have fun in the sewing room until you hear the hungry cries! (Unless you need a 2 hour nap!)

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  31. What a sweet, sweet boy. Being a mom is a one day at a time accomplishment. Be kind to yourself on that score. I know it is hard, but we just do the best we can and we need to forgive our mistakes. I am glad to here that your hubby is learning parenting right along side of you. Share the joys! Best wishes to your new family.

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  32. Congrats! He is perfect! Motherhood is the hardest and the most wonderful job in the world! Enjoy every day!

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  33. That last photo is DARLING. So worth 37 hours of labor (!!!). I can't wait to see more photos as he grows and has a revolving door of cool, crafty clothes. Thinking of you as you go through the rough times.

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  34. oh, Lindsay, you made me cry! You learn as you go. My two are now 9 & 7 and I still have no idea what I'm doing but I just keep doing. Elliot is so beautiful and I know already he's going to be amazing. :) How could he not be?

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  35. Congradulations.. I am glad you both are doing well. I am a grandma of a new baby and keep her all the time, Your instincts tell you what to do. I love watching the parents learn, I step in with hints or shoulds, but they are doing great. A child is a blessing .. I always as moms.. " Are you ready to do it again?" I have been made a grandma of 7 now, 5 and under in the last 5 years, so I have been busy quilting. Loved the Quilt. Take care of yourself first, and it will be better for your family.

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